Clan-Members » me. (Washington would still win the North with

Theres been quite a bit of fallout from the release of this book. Has that caused a further bit of reflection for you as its writing obviously did? I dont think so. Writing the book was a very good opportunity to stop and reflect, and the people who read it will see how self-critical Ive been. Theres a lot of things in there people wouldnt know because I wasnt open about it. I kept it to myself because it was close to my heart: whether it was what my family was going through at the time I took over the captaincy, all the stuff on Hughesy, which I still get so emotional about. Being able to write about it has done wonders for me and my mind, to be honest. I feel a lot more at ease and comfortable with everything now.Do you wish in hindsight you could have been more self-reflective when you played? I wish I smelt the roses more often. But in the same breath I think my dedication and focus was my greatest strength as well. I always wanted to try to become better and thats probably why I achieved what I did. Its hard to say whether I would change that, but smelling the roses is an important part of life. Its my personality - its just me and who I am. When it was close to my heart I kept it in and didnt talk about it.Maybe thats one of the criticisms Ive copped through my career that I completely accept, that I havent been as open as I could have been. Maybe if I was more open, the media or the public might have understood why I was angry in a press conference or why I was tired, or whatever else.You were very visible to the public and media but people felt they werent seeing your true self. I was brought up in the old-school way, where if you say nothing it will just fade away. But thats not how society works these days, especially the last half of my time playing cricket for Australia. It grows more legs because everyone has their say. If theres an issue, a question or a rumour, youve got to front it straightaway and be open and honest about it, and that I didnt do. I sat back and thought, Ill bite my tongue and cop the criticism and itll just fade away. Hence us eight years on still talking about Katto... for me personally I was done and had dealt with it the day after it. This is my story and my truth, obviously Simon feels differently and hes entitled to that. But from my perspective, it was done the next day.You mentioned press conferences - you talk specifically about the day before the Gabba Ashes Test in 2013 and why you were so terse that day, having a bad day physically but not wanting to let it slip? I dont have any excuses for the way I acted or what I said. The last thing I want is for people to feel sorry for me through that period. But with more understanding people will be able to say, Oh now I get it.And that was the hardest thing with my injury as well. Anyone whos suffered with a bad back or chronic back problem, they understand the frustrations and pain that comes with that. Its not just affecting you, it expands to your partner, your family, your close friends.That day was an example of something else going on in my life that I wouldnt talk about. I didnt want the opposition, my team-mates, the media or the public to know how bad my back was at that time. I didnt want the team worrying about me or the opposition seeing a weakness, I didnt want to give them a sniff with anything. I didnt want that, so Id try to hold it in, but sometimes the frustration would build up enough for you to let it out in ways that you shouldnt - theyre not doing anything wrong, why are you taking it out on them?Off the back of that day, the whole 2013-14 period is viewed as very special by the members of that team. But as much as you were enjoying that, there was a power struggle off the field for control of the team? The last 12 months were probably the hardest part of my captaincy tenure, regarding how I thought the structure had changed so much that the role [of captaincy] wasnt suited to me anymore. I found that most difficult, but in regards to my enjoyment, that was there really until Phillip passed. Thats when I felt the game was never the same. I lost one of my best mates I loved travelling and playing cricket with. I also experienced fear for the first time in my career. Being a little kid growing up, everyone was bigger and stronger and bowled faster, but I was never scared of that. For the last two tours of my career I noticed that was there, the thought that you can die doing this. It was the first time that ever crept into my mind.During that period who did you confide in with those fears? No one. Its not like I didnt open up to the media or the public - I didnt open up to anyone. My family, my friends, my team-mates had no idea. In the West Indies, I think my team-mates would recognise I never went to dinner with them one night through that tour, but I was never the person during a Test match to do that anyway. A lot of the time I would have room service in preparation, because I knew I had to be up at 5am for treatment for my back while everyone else was sleeping. So me going to bed at 8.30pm was so I could get enough sleep to make sure my body recovered. But they still would have noticed not seeing me at all - every single night sitting in my hotel room watching Sons of Anarchy and eating the same room service. They would have noticed that, but I dont think they had any idea what I was going through. I hope they didnt, because that was my goal, to not show anybody. Kyly saw through what I was feeling, but I wasnt open about it. She was trying to talk to me about it and asking me why I wouldnt talk about it. It was my personality to close up and try to deal with it on my own.Theres a certain similarity in all this to Martin Crowes book Raw, in which he looks back very clear-eyed on his behaviour and obsession as a player. You two spoke quite a lot on the game? He was a great man. I didnt talk much to Crowey about what I was going through, but I spoke to him a lot through the back half of my career, whether it was by text or phone or when we saw each other. A lot of it was about batting, but also life as a professional cricketer. He was always very supportive and he watched my game from afar, on TV or online. He would look at things when I was batting and notice technical things that not too many people would notice and speak to me about that.Crowey respected my drive and ambition to be the best, he liked my style of captaincy and the aggressive approach to move the game forward. But I do also know he wanted the game to be played with the utmost respect and integrity, and piss off all sledging. The part of that Ill always remember was opening my big mouth on a couple of occasions, learning that its not what you say its what you do. If I had my time again, I wouldnt have opened my mouth with Jimmy Anderson and Dale Steyn.There was a lot of personal difficulty and family difficulty in your life, particularly in the year 2008 when you took on the vice-captaincy. Did that contribute to you closing up? It was more that I didnt want to show weakness. Probably 90% of my life was so public and I never expected that. I didnt know what came with playing cricket for Australia - I thought it was bat, bowl, field, go celebrate with my team-mates. I didnt know you were going to become a role model, I didnt know you had to do media every other day, I didnt know you had to do public speaking in front of 200 people at a corporate lunch, or go meet and greet so many Cricket Australia staff. So many things I learned in front of the camera. I had to learn in front of Australia and the world, and you make mistakes.I lived in this world where I wanted to be the best I could be - particularly taking over the captaincy at No. 5 in the world in Tests, that was unacceptable to me and I was like, Right, this train is going in this direction to take us back to No. 1, and anyone who didnt want to get on board was like a distraction. I was so focused on that and could have been a lot more caring and loving and listened more, especially to people close to me, to my team-mates. But I was so driven by success that I was going to knock down any wall to get there.Real walls or perceived walls? There were walls, there were real walls. Look at four players being dropped in India. Thats something that wont be spoken about - within two years we went from No. 5 in the world to No. 1 in the world. So something in that team was working. Making tough calls is leadership, whether its business, or sport or whatever it is. Some people like that decision because it helps them, some people dont like that decision because it doesnt. I was never scared of making that tough decision. I was happy with the accountability and thats why I accepted being captain. It might have cost me friendships or relationships, in this clear vision of how to get back to No. 1, but wasnt that my job? My role was to win games of cricket, and I dont apologise for the decisions we made. Youd love to be best mates with everyone, but I dont see any successful leader that has not stirred the pot or made decisions that have affected people. I played with maybe 100 different players. We heard from maybe three or four publicly - Id like to think theres another 96 players whose games got better under my leadership. There is a testy relationship with selectors over the course of your story. Even when youre dropped in 2005, you tell Ricky Ponting you want to hear it from him rather than a selector. Does the Australian system need changing? Ive only ever known the Australian system. Through my career I think it was pretty good. You know what youre going to get as a player. Picking the best XI with four or five selectors, everyones got a difference of opinion, but its your job, especially as the chairman, to select what you think is the best XI and back your judgement. As long as the communication is there with whoever the captain is, and the captain is as comfortable as he can be with the players that take the field - my mindset was the captain is always accountable if the team isnt performing - then things should work okay. I had that communication with Andrew Hilditch, with John Inverarity, with Rod Marsh. Whether youre a selector or not, you only have one vote out of five. Then not being a selector I dont feel I had any less say than when I was officially on the panel.So many young athletes, as you were, rush to get out of school and get the sport started. Do you think, where you are now, that youd have been a different person for finishing school and studying some more? I think if I had my daughter younger I would have been a lot different. Im a lot softer, more caring and more loving now than earlier in my life. My little girl has softened me like I wouldnt have believed. But that drive that I had and that vision I had is a big part of why I was lucky enough to get selected for Australia in the first place. Im proud of who I am. If you knew then what you know now, you would make some different decisions, but Im proud of how it all turned out. Im still mates with the same people I was when I was ten years old.The last chapter is called Obsessive and Compulsive. Some self-diagnosis to that. Have you heard from any psychology professionals about it? Ive had a number of different emails but I dont need someone to tell me. I know what it is, Ive known from a young age - Sundays were the day for mum to clean the house and my sister to clean her room, but mum never told me to clean mine because it was spotless. From the first time I packed my cricket bag or pack a suitcase to go on a holiday, my mum would pack my sisters bag and try to pack mine. Id say, No, I pack my own. I like my clothes folded a certain way. Ive known my whole life theres a little bit of that obsessive-compulsive there. But Ive tried to use it to help me. I love being organised, I love structure. I put a suit on today, this suits hanging on the coat hanger out of my wardrobe at 8.30pm last night, knowing Im going to wear it today. Thats who I am.Tony Pollard Womens Jersey . Booth picked up 65 caps after making her national team debut in 2002 at the age of 17. She most recently played for Sky Blue FC of the National Womens Soccer League. "It just felt like it was my time to move on," she said in a phone interview from her hometown of Burlington, Ont. Roger Staubach Youth Jersey . Artturi Lehkonen, Joni Nikko and Ville Leskinen had the other goals for Finland (1-0) while Juuse Saros stopped 28 shots. Tim Robin Johnsgard had the lone goal for Norway (0-2). https://www.cowboyssportsgoods.com/Womens-Bob-Lilly-Inverted-Jersey/ . Brandon Morrow allowed five runs on six hits over three innings. He struck out two, walked one and hit a batter. Edwin Encarnacion had a two-out, bases loaded two-RBI double in the third inning. Jaylon Smith Youth Jersey . Michell Burger, a woman who lives on an estate next to Pistorius gated community, said she and her husband were awoken by the screams in the pre-dawn hours of Feb. 14 last year, when Pistorius killed Reeva Steenkamp by shooting four times through a door in his bathroom. Robert Newhouse Jersey . The Hall of Fame defenceman told Landsberg that he believes fighting still has a place in todays game, but thinks staged fighting needs be outlawed.Expect at least one one-loss team to make the College Football Playoff.Its the trend, not the anomaly, as six of the past eight CFP semifinalists lost during the regular season. According to ESPNs Football Power Index, there is only a 3 percent chance that there will be four or more undefeated Power 5 teams remaining when the selection committee reveals its final ranking on Dec. 4.The 12-member committee already has some tough choices to make when it meets next week in Dallas, and where they rank the one-loss teams will start to reveal just how valid those teams chances are. How much of a shot does Louisville really have? Is there a Power 5 conference out there with two legitimate playoff teams?Heres a rundown of what the top five one-loss contenders are facing, ranked by their current spots in the Associated Press Top 25 poll:No. 5 LouisvilleBiggest roadblock: Nov. 17 at HoustonBest wins:?Florida State, 63-20; NC State, 54-13Path to the playoff: The most direct route for Louisville would be for Clemson to lose Saturday to Florida State, then lose in the ACC championship game. Under that scenario, the selection committee would at least debate whether Louisville is more worthy to be included among the top four -- despite the Tigers win in the head-to-head matchup. Louisville would also have a better shot than a two-loss ACC champ from the leagues weaker division. Of course, Louisville also would have to win out to be deemed unequivocally one of the four best teams in the country.Statistically speaking: ESPNs FPI pegs Louisvilles win probability for each remaining game at 80 percent or more, and favors the Cards on a neutral field against every team in the country except Alabama and Michigan. Louisville leads the nation in offensive efficiency, and Lamar Jackson leads the FBS in Total QBR.Reason for skepticism: Strength of schedule and committee protocol. Louisville has defeated only two teams with records above .500 (5-2 Florida State, 4-3 NC State) and only one ranked opponent (FSU). In addition to strength of schedule, the committee is also directed to use conference championships won and head-to-head results as tiebreakers when evaluating comparable teams. Louisville doesnt stack up, which means it has to find other ways to impress the committee.Can the ACC get two teams in? Yes. The best-case scenario here would be for Clemson to go undefeated, and to have at least another Power 5 conference champion stumble -- most likely Washington, Baylor or West Virginia. Then Louisville would be compared against other one-loss teams instead of trying to unseat an undefeated league champ.No. 6 Ohio StateBiggest roadblock: Nov. 26 vs. MichiganBest wins: at Oklahoma, 45-24; at Wisconsin, 30-23 OTPath to the playoff: The Buckeyes have to win out, including their regular-season finale against Michigan, to win the East and then win the Big Ten championship game.Statistically speaking: According to ESPNs Football Power Index, the Buckeyes have a 70 percent chance to enter their matchup with Michigan without another loss. Then they have a 44 percent chance to beat the Wolverines, and with a win, would be at least a 75 percent favorite against any team from the West in a Big Ten championship game.Reason for skepticism: The Buckeyes lost to what was an unranked Penn State team that Michigan drubbed 49-10, albeit in Ann Arbor. Its a different scenario than what Louisville is facing, as the Cards lone loss was a close one on the road to Clemson, one of the nations top teams. Another cause for concern is how the offense struggled up front against the Nittany Lions, who sacked J.T. Barrett six times.Can the Big Ten get two teams in? Possibly, but it doesnt appear to be in as good of a position as the ACC now that Ohio State lost. If Michigan loses a nail-biter in Columbus, though, each could be considered a top-four team.No. 9 Texas A&MBiggest roadblock: Nov. 24 vs. LSUBest wins: Sept. 17 at Auburn, 29-16; Sept. 24 vs. Arkansas, 45-24; Oct. 8 vs. Tennessee, 45-38 (2OT)Path to the playoff: In order to win the West and play in the SEC chhampionship game, the Aggies now have to win out and they need Alabama to lose twice in their final four games, which isnt impossible but appears improbable.ddddddddddddNick Sabans crew has at least a 64 percent chance to win each of its remaining games, according to the FPI, but it still has to travel to LSU on Nov. 5 and end the season with a rapidly improving Auburn team in the Iron Bowl. In order to get to the playoff, Texas A&M needs to finish the season in flawless fashion and hope the committee holds the entire SEC in high regard.Statistically speaking: The Aggies are No. 3 in ESPNs strength of record metric, which means an average Top 25 team would have an 11 percent chance of achieving the same 6-1 record. They trail only Alabama and Clemson in that category.Reason for skepticism: It was close for a while against Alabama, but it wasnt competitive in the end. After being outscored 20-7 in the second half, Texas A&M showed the gap that still exists between Alabama and everyone else in the West.Can the SEC get two teams in? Yes, but it wont be easy. If the Aggies run the table in convincing fashion, with their lone loss on the road to the defending national champs, they would at least enter the committees debate. They would probably need another conference champion to stumble along the way, though.No. 14 FloridaBiggest roadblock: Nov. 19 at LSUBest win:?Still waiting ...Path to the playoff: Perfection. The Gators have to win out, including an upset of Alabama in the SEC championship game. The good news for Florida is Tennessee has lost twice, so the Gators will win the East if they win out in spite of the head-to-head loss to the Vols. If Florida can miraculously win the SEC, theres no question it would be in the top four.Statistically speaking: The odds of Florida winning the SEC are just 6 percent, according to ESPNs FPI. Because of the postponed LSU game, the Gators now end the season with back-to-back road trips to LSU and Florida State. They also still have a tough road game at Arkansas on Nov. 5. One more league loss, and Tennessee -- with a much easier remaining schedule -- wins the East.Reason for skepticism: The aforementioned schedule. You see the best win category? Its at Vandy. You see what lies ahead? Nuff said. The Gators lost the game that mattered the most to this point, and they havent beaten any ranked opponents, and Kentucky is the only FBS team theyve played with a record over .500.Can the SEC get two teams in? Yes, in a different scenario. What if the Gators win out and upset Bama in the SEC title game? Theres a chance for the East and the West to get into the top four.?No. 17 UtahBiggest roadblock: Saturday vs. WashingtonBest wins to date: Oct. 22 at UCLA, 52-45; Sept. 23 vs. USC, 31-27Path to the playoff: On a wing and a prayer. The first challenge is to win the South, which could come down to the regular-season finale -- a road trip to surging Colorado. If Utah survives both Washington and Colorado, it would then likely have to beat Washington a second time in the Pac-12 title game. (Washington would still win the North with a loss at Utah, as long as it wins out.) If Utah pulled that off, it would be impressive enough that it would definitely be considered by the committee for the top four.Statistically speaking: ESPNs FPI favors both Washington and Colorado against Utah, but the Utes have won close games because of their opportunistic defense (which leads the nation with 22 takeaways) and the return of running back Joe Williams. In two games since he returned to the team, Williams has rushed for 511 yards, and he had four touchdowns against UCLA on Saturday.Reason for skepticism: Strength of schedule. In addition to a win against a 3-4 FCS team, Utah has just one win against a Power 5 opponent with a record above .500 -- 4-3 USC. They have yet to beat a ranked opponent, let alone play one.Can the Pac-12 get two teams in? Nope. It might not even get one. ' ' '